The Florida Freeze-Out

Due to circumstances beyond my control, tonight's episode of FLORIDA ROCKS AGAIN! will not be heard on WFBO 93.3 FM "The Blizzard" or on Live 365.

Seems the new program director couldn't get the show loaded into the computer, so it ain't happening. It probably won't happen at all, he tells me, because he thinks the show doesn't fit the format. This after I've spent countless hours re-editing the shows for a two hour time slot. This morning, I put the finishing touches on the next two episodes, and they were all killer, no filler. Then I get a call from the PD telling me that the show is out, but I could be a part of the team doing unpaid air shifts and selling sponsorships.

Ever get the feeling that it was time to move on?

The signs have been coming at me hard and fast, beating me about the head and shoulders, and it's beginning to look like my Florida dream is over. They say things happen in threes, and it's looking like I just took strike three.

First, I lost my day job.

Then, I lost the TV gig.

Now, it looks like the radio thing is going South, too.

Unreal. The trifecta. The triple whammy.

I should have gotten the message back in '02 when I got rousted by a St. Johns County Sheriff's Deputy named George Gazdick. My crime: I let my dog, Jesse Garon, run on the beach without a leash. For about 30 seconds. When Deputy Gazdick started to write me up and asked my name, I gave him my radio name, thinking he might have heard my show. Then when I told him my real name, he arrested me for providing a false ID, and had me hauled off to the County lock-up. It was a Sunday, and if not for the efforts of my brother-in-law, a high-powered attorney, I'd have had to spend the night in the pokey.

I had the urge to get the hell out of Florida right then and there and never look back.

But I stayed, and a couple of years later, met my beautiful wife, got married, and had two beautiful children before you could say "Jack Robinson." My wife, in all in her infinite wisdom, has been lobbying for us to leave Florida for the past year. She was dubious about my day job, never trusted the TV boss, and thought the radio station was akin to a Chinese fire drill. But, to quote Whitey Herzog, that'd be an insult to Asian firefighters.

I told her not to worry, that we were going to make it here.

I hate it when I'm so wrong and she's so right. Man, she's so right, it hurts.

Next stop? Who knows.

If anybody out there is looking for a good movie host for their local TV station, drop me a line.