Florida Rocks Again! Greatest Hits, Volume Two

Listen via Live365 at theblizzard.us

Wednesday August 29 from 6 to 8 p.m.

Sunday September 9 from Noon to 2 p.m.

Playlist:

RAY CHARLES: Unchain My Heart
FRED NEIL: Candy Man

CLEFS OF LAVENDER HILL: Stop! Get a Ticket
TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS:

Don't Bring Me Down/I Won't Back Down
FLYING BURRITO BROTHERS: Six Days on the Road

BENNY SPELLMAN: Fortune Teller
JAMES & BOBBY PURIFY: I'm Your Puppet
SAM & DAVE: You Got Me Hummin'
CORNELIUS BROTHERS & SISTER ROSE: Treat Her Like a Lady
BETTY WRIGHT: Girls Can't Do What the Guys Do
CLARENCE REID: Polk Salad Annie

CLASSICS IV: Spooky/Cherry Hill Park
BOBBY GOLDSBORO: See the Funny Little Clown
JOHNNY TILLOTSON: (Wait Til You See My) Gidget
LARRY & THE LOAFERS: Let's Go to the Beach
PROCTOR AMUSEMENT COMPANY: Heard You Went Away

BLUES IMAGE: Ride Captain Ride
BIRDWATCHERS: Mary Mary (It's to You I Belong)
NIGHTCRAWLERS: A Basket of Flowers
PLANT LIFE: Flower Girl
DOORS: Light My Fire

The Genius of Tom Dowd - The Criteria Sessions:

ERIC CLAPTON: Motherless Children

LYNYRD SKYNYRD: Gimme Back My Bullets
THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND: Midnight Rider
DEREK & THE DOMINOES: Layla

HOYT AXTON: Never Been to Spain
THE OUTLAWS: Green Grass & High Tides
SAM & DAVE: Goodnight Baby

Schedule:

B-1 "FRA!'s Greatest Hits, Vol. I" 8/15. 8/26
B-2 "This Is What We Do" 8/22, 9/2
B-3 "FRA!'s Greatest Hits, Vol. II" 8/29, 9/9
B-4 "Coverama!" 9/5, 9/16
B-5 "FRA! Hall of Fame" 9/12, 9/23
B-6 "Cryin' Time" 9/19, 9/30
B-7 "FRA! Hall of Fame Part 2" 9/26, 10/7
B-8 "Florida Time/Anywhere But Here" 10/3, 10/14
B-9 "Baby!/Girls, Girls, Girls" 10/10, 10/21
B-10 "Love, Love, Love" 10/17, 10/28
B-11 "Night and Day/Anxious Colors" 10/24, 11/4
B-12 "Halloween/It's Alive!" 10/31, 11/11
B-13 "FRA! Hall of Fame, Vol. I" 11/6, 11/18

Listen via Live365 at TheBlizzard.US

Brave Hater 8.27.07

Excerpts from this week's issue of Brave Hater Magazine:

BRAVES PLUMMET IN STANDINGS

The staff here at Brave Hater spent the weekend in an unfamiliar position: rooting for the St. Louis Cardinals. After dropping the opener of a three game series against Atlanta, the Cards recovered to take two out of three from the reeling Braves.

The losses dropped Atlanta to seven games behind the division leading Mets and four games out in the Wild Card standings. The likelihood of Atlanta making the post-season to delight us with yet another October choke job is decreasing by the hour. At least we can look forward to the the last day of the regular season and the inevitable post-game interview with a disappointed Chipper as he cleans out his locker.

The standings:

Mets: 73 - 56, .566, -
Phillies: 67 - 62, .519, 6 GB
Braves: 67 - 64, .511., 7 GB

RENTERIA RETURNS FROM DL, INJURES HIMSELF IMMEDIATELY

Braves shortstop Edgar Renteria was activated off the 15-Day disabled list last Wednesday, only to reinjure his ankle on the first pitch he saw in the first inning of the Braves 4-2 loss at Cincinnati. Renteria took a ball from Reds starter Bronson Arroyo, slightly lifting and striding with his left foot before briefly stumbling backward. Unable to continue, he was replaced by Yuniel Escobar, who grounded out. Renteria was returned to the DL on Thursday.

As the man once said, "It's funny because it's true."

BRAVES RELEASE WICKMAN

The Braves severed ties with erstwhile closer Bob Wickman on Friday, the day after the portly shit-baller surrendered a game-winning two-run home run to Cincinnati's Adam Dunn. Wickman is 3-3 with a 3.92 ERA with 20 saves and six blown saves, which is apparently one too many for manager Bobby Cox.

"We just want to go a different way," Cox told reporters over a tall Jack Daniel's on the rocks at the hotel bar. "I'm sick of that out-of-shape S.O.B. trying to finesse it with that slop of his...Every time I call the bullpen to get him up, he's eating a hot dog. Or he's sleeping. I need that fucking guy out there throwing gophers in the ninth like I need a hole in the head."

Cox's tirade lasted several minutes, during which he used the term "horseshit" 129 times.

Having cleared room on the roster by designating B-Wick for assignment, the Braves recalled pitchers Jose Ascanio and former number one draft pick Joey Devine, who served up batting practice to National League hitters and gave up many a moon shot during his brief but memorable Major League debut late in the 2005 season and also in his other, much more forgettable trials with the big club.

A-ROD VS. A-HOLE

Loyal readers of Brave Hater have been asking why we haven't weighed in on the controversy surrounding Chipper Jones's comments regarding Alex Rodriguez's alleged use of steroids. Well, around here, although we sure as shootin' don't like Chipper, we don't much care for A-Rod, either.

So we didn't comment at the time, instead choosing to focus on other despicable personality traits of Mr. Jones. Like for instance, this prick doesn't stop hitting. We keep waiting for his inevitable decline, and the bastard keeps hitting doubles like there's no tomorrow. But we digress.

For those fans looking for closure, we will now address the issue of Chipper v. A-Rod.

When Jones was asked about recent statements from Jose Canseco insinuating that Rodriguez was a user of performance-enhancing chemicals, a "hypocrite" and "not all he appeared to be," Chipper fanned the flames by saying, "I think it will follow him. There's going to be the questions because his name's been brought up. He's going to have to answer the questions...It's just so farfetched, the numbers that [he's] putting up." ("Chipper Shocker," NY Post, 8/9/07)

He has since tried to backpedal, saying that he doesn't believe A-Rod uses 'roids, and besides, they're good friends. Yeah, right. That's the part that bugs the staff here at Brave Hater. We had no problem with Chipper's honest skepticism regarding Rodriguez's gaudy numbers. In fact, as much as it pains us to say it, we respect him for speaking his mind, such as it is.

However, when he plays the "Aw, shucks, I played against him in high school" card, then hems and haws about the Yankee third baseman's obvious steroid abuse with mealy-mouthed hogwash about how he doesn't see "Alex being called in front of grand juries and stuff," and that he hopes "nothing comes of it," that's when we discovered yet another reason to severely dislike Chipper Jones.

His unguarded bluster about the premiere player at his position was almost admirable, but his attempt at damage control was pure hypocrisy.

The only question remaining is who's more of a hypocrite, A-Roid or Chipper? Our longtime readers already know our answer: Larry Wayne Jones. A-Hole.

For even more Brave Hater, subscribe to this BLOG!

Brave Hater is a parody, and if you don't like it, you can go straight to chipperjones.com.

Florida Rocks Again! on TheBlizzard.US

FLORIDA ROCKS AGAIN!


Listen via Live365 at TheBlizzard.us

Every Wednesday from 6 to 8 p.m. EDT

Every Sunday from Noon to 2 p.m EDT

93.3 TheBlizzard.us in Flagler Beach is the new flagship station for Florida Rocks Again!




Upcoming Schedule:

Sunday August 26: "This is What We Do"

Wednesday August 29:
"Florida Rocks Again!'s Greatest Hits, Volume II"

Sunday September 2:
"Florida Rocks Again!'s Greatest Hits, Volume I"

Wednesday September 5: "Coverama!"

Sunday September 9:
"Florida Rocks Again!'s Greatest Hits, Volume II"

Wednesday September 12: "Coverama! Part 2"

Sunday September 16: "Coverama!"

Series hosted by Mal Thursday

Written and Produced by JM Dobies

Co-Produced by Jeff Lemlich

Podcast Archives at floridarocksagain.garagepunk.com

Website: floridarocksagain.com

Thanks to everybody at the Blizzard, Bill and Kopper at Garagepunk.com, David A. Karlin, Tonja Marie at Industrious Communications and my little friends Liam and Lola.

Florida Rocks Again!: This is What We Do

Listen via Live365 at theblizzard.us
Wednesday August 22 from 6 to 8 p.m.
Sunday August 26 from Noon to 2 p.m.

Playlist:

SAM & DAVE: Hold On, I'm Comin'
TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS:

Rockin' Around (With You)/I'm Cryin'
CRITICAL MASS: 1964
CLEFS OF LAVENDER HILL: It Won't Be Long
BIRDWATCHERS: I'm Gonna Love You Anyway
STEVE ALAIMO: Blowin' in the Wind

CLASSICS IV: Little Darlin'
ROVIN' FLAMES: Bo Diddley
INTERNATIONAL SUBMARINE BAND: Folsom Prison Blues
RAY CHARLES: Busted
BLUES IMAGE: La Bamba

The Sam & Dave Story:
SAM & DAVE: I Take What I Want/You Don't Know Like I Know/

Wrap it Up/Soul Man/I Can't Stand Up for Falling Down
SAM MOORE: Stop

A Taste of '67:
ROYAL GUARDSMEN: The Return of the Red Baron
THE DOORS: 20th Century Fox
PAINTED FACES: Anxious Color
KOLLEKTION: Savage Lost
MOUSE & THE BOYS: Dancing to the Beat

Duane Allman's Soul Sessions:
HOUR GLASS: I've Been Tryin'
ARETHA FRANKLIN: It Ain't Fair
JOHNNY JENKINS: Walk on Gilded Splinters
WILSON PICKETT: Hey Jude
KING CURTIS: The Weight (bed)

MOLLY HATCHET: Crossroads (live)
ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND:

Don't Want You No More/Not My Cross to Bear
COWBOY (with DUANE ALLMAN): Please Be With Me
OUTLAWS: Freeborn Man
"LYNARD SKYNARD": Need All My Friends (1968 version)

Lubi's Hot Subs: Lubi-licious

I got some nice feedback from my loyal readers about last week's post on Jreck Subs, so I thought I'd tell y'all about another obscure-but-rewarding fast food franchise I've come to know and love here in NE Florida. Lubi's Hot Subs, serving Jacksonville, Florida since 1969, offers a uniquely delicious and profoundly unhealthy sandwich that is as tasty as it is indigestible.

To make a "Famous" as it is known throughout the greater J-Ville area, you start with owner Nic DiRamio's secret family recipe: ground beef, slow-cooked for two days in a choice blend of spices, then laid over a base layer of American cheese into an 8" sub roll that has been trimmed at the ends and along the top for easy eating. I say easy eating, but all Lubi's sandwiches, with the possible exception of the "Camel Rider," come with a fork. After that, you have your choice of mayonnaise, mustard, onions, and Lubi's trademark hot peppers. If you want a Lubi Italiano, try their Mozzarella Lubi with tomato sauce. Then there's the "Stroganoff Lubi" with mushrooms and sour cream, or my favorite, the "Mean Machine," with mozzarell', lettuce, tomato, and extra-potent Italian dressing.

After you've had an entire Lubi, say my variation on the Famous: the "Cheeseburger Lubi" with extra American cheese, onions, mayo, and ketchup from the foil packets available on the counter (Perhaps as an echo of the company's genesis during the Burger Wars of the late '60s and early '70s, Lubi's doesn't offer ketchup as a condiment), and it was blissful. The problem is, after you've just wolfed down one of Lubi's loose-meat delicacies, your stomach is still in shock while your mind is making itself up to order another one. That's when you order the Stroganoff Lubi. Hours later, as your digestive tract rebels against the insult of going one Lubi over the line, you ask, "Why did I do that?"

Then you'll say, after a hefty belch, "It was worth it."

For more information and money-saving coupons, visit Lubi's new web site at Lubis.com. It's nice to see them back online, but I kind of miss the old site, with its JPEG close-ups of Famous, Mozzarella, and Chili Lubis that bordered on food porn.

4 Jacksonville-area locations to serve you better

Locally Owned & Operated

2940 University Blvd

904-733-3734

Map to Location

3930 Sunbeam Road

904-260-6100

Map to Location

11633 Beach Blvd

904-642-3800

Map to Location

500 N 3rd. St (A1A)Jacksonville Beach

904-270-1007

Map to Location

Tough Love from the Donald

Donald Trump is reaching out to Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan, using his own brand of sweet talk to get them to appear on his TV show, The Apprentice.

He told the New York Post, "We're negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it? We're not sure what will happen. She's a fucking mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she'd be great. (Hilton) wants to be on, and we're thinking about it, but I don't know if we're going to do it. (Lohan is) another fucking mess. We haven't asked her yet, but I'm going to call her this week. It would a positive thing for her to do... for all of them."

What a guy.

Brave Hater 8.20.07

Excerpts from this week's issue of Brave Hater Magazine:

BRAVES USE SMOG TO THEIR ADVANTAGE

Thanks to the hottest summer in human history, the Waycross wildfires, and the worst traffic jams in the South, Atlanta now has the worst air quality in America. Add to that the rising stink emanating from the Braves' bullpen, and ATL is the new capitol of smog. Residents have been urged to stay indoors between the hours of 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. Unfortunately, thanks to the Fox Network, the Braves played back-to-back day games against the Arizona Diamondbacks this past weekend. Saturday's game, won 12-6 by the visiting D-Backs, was the Braves' third loss in a row, and was notable for the hitting display of Arizona pitcher Micah Owings, who went 4 for 5, hit two home runs, including a grand slam, and drove in 6 runs.

The Braves bounced back to win 6-2 on Sunday behind John Smoltz, as the poor air quality began to affect the Diamondbacks's young hitters, and caused losing pitcher Yusmeiro Petit to serve up gopher balls to three different Atlanta hitters. "I don't breathe so good," said the young hurler in broken English. "The air, it taste like rat poison."

The Braves' mediocre homestand dropped them to five and a half games behind the NL East leading Mets, and kept them a half game behind the fightin' Phils.

Mets 70 - 53, .569, -
Phillies 65 - 58, .528, 5 GB
Braves 65 - 59, .524, 5 ½ GB

BRAVES FANS ALSO FILTHY

It seems that the air is not the only thing in Atlanta that's dirty.

According to a 2005 study by the American Society of Microbiology, which sponsored an education campaign about how hand-washing can stop the spread of flu, diarrhea and other infectious diseases, Braves fans are particularly unclean.

Researchers lingered in public restrooms, putting on makeup or combing their hair, while surreptitiously counting the number of people who did not wash their hands after using the toilet. They concluded about one-third of people did not wash. The study was conducted in various public places, including restaurants, bars, and bus stations.

The worst offenders were found at a Braves game.

The greatest lack of personal hygiene was at Atlanta's Turner Field, where 37 percent of men left the bathroom without washing, and 16 percent of the women did.

That's why I'll talk baseball with a Braves fan, but I won't shake his hand.

FUN FACT ABOUT CHIPPER JONES

Chipper beats his wife, and his mistress.

Brave Hater Magazine is a parody, and is only intended for the amusement of those who think the Atlanta Braves are filthy.

Texas Radio and the Big Beat

I've been on the hunt for a new gig, one that might possibly suit my talents. My skill set is such that most of the jobs in the classifieds and on the various search engines are either completely unsuitable, or the pay is lousy, or somehow involve sales. For instance, Mediarecruiter.com advertises heavily in Television Week magazine, so I checked out their offerings. 99 out of 100 jobs listed were "account executive," while the other one was "captioner." Sure, I'd love to bring my editorial skills to the closed-captioning business (we leave the captions on all the time at our house, because of the frequent screaming of our 16 month old daughter a/k/a "Leather Lungs"), having suffered through the horrible transcriptions of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central. Unfortunately, I can't type 250 words a minute.

Another factor is that my wife has her heart set on moving to Austin. Hey, if its good enough for Willie Nelson and Quentin Tarantino, it's good enough for me.

A while back, I had been approached by a certain "Kiloh" about doing a podcast for TexasPsychRanch.com that would be a Texan version of Florida Rocks Again!, an eclectic history of Texas music from Buddy Holly to the Butthole Surfers and beyond, with an emphasis on bands like the 13th Floor Elevators, the Golden Dawn, and Red Krayola. Working title: Texas Radio and the Big Beat. Circumstances conspired to prevent that show from happening, namely my TV job, my other radio show, and most importantly, fatherhood.

Lo and behold, I was searching the job search sites for Austin when I came across something that was actually a good fit for me: on-air correspondent and producer for Morning Edition at KUT, the National Public Radio affiliate at the University of Texas at Austin. I quickly put together a demo CD of some long-form interviews I'd done for Florida Rocks Again!, typed up a stream-of-consciousness cover letter, and popped 'em into the post pronto. I don't know if I'll get it, but I hope I do. So if you happen to be David Brown, not the David Brown who played bass for the 31st Of February, or the David Brown who was an exec at 20th Century Fox in the '70s, but the David Brown from KUT, please hire me. I need the gig, and I'll totally hit it out of the park, believe me. As an added bonus, I'll produce Texas Radio and the Big Beat for you, and it will absolutely kick ass. It'll be a bubblin' cauldron of Blues, Rock n' Roll, Soul, and Outlaw Country, with a pinch of Tex-Mex, and a heavy dose of Prairie Fuzz.

In Praise of Jreck Subs

A few choice words about my favorite fast food franchise in the known universe, Jreck Subs. Although the name of the place sounds uncannily like "dreck," it is, in fact, home of the most delicious sandwiches ever made.

I've been to many of the great Delis -- the Carnegie, Canter's, et al. -- and every other purveyor of submarines, hoagies, heroes, call 'em what you will, but for pure flavor, Jreck's is king.

In my younger days, I was partial to their capicola sub, but since then, my favorite is Jreck's incomparable tuna sub. It starts with their incredible sub roll, four slices of American cheese (although most Jreck's fans are partial to the provolone), and then comes the tuna salad: one part tuna to four parts extra heavy mayonnaise. Add to that the full complement of toppings: shredded lettuce, tomatoes and onions sliced paper-thin. Then I request four times the usual amount of their incredible hot chopped peppers. The kicker is what the sub-makers like to call "the shakers": parmesan cheese, oregano, and "oil" (seven parts industrial-grade vegetable oil, one part red wine vinegar, a pinch of Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper). The result: 12 inches of gastronomic delight, also known as a "mayo missile," best chased with an extra-large Mountain Dew.

Now that's good eatin'.

Jreck Subs can be found mostly in upstate New York, and it's usually my first stop whenever I visit home. My family understands. They're well-aware of the genius that is Jreck's.

It's "a meal for your money, not a snack."

For more information, go to jrecksubs.com.

Brave Hater 8.13.07

Excepts from this week's issue of Brave Hater Magazine:

THE MYTH OF 14

or CHIEF NOCKAHOMA'S HISTORY LESSON

If there's one thing that galls me, it's when sportscasters make reference to the Braves' "14 consecutive division titles" between 1991 and 2005. While it is true that the Braves did win their division 14 times in that span, to call those division titles "consecutive" is just plain wrong. And ignorant.

It's revisionist history of the filthiest kind, which conveniently forgets the 1994 season, when the Montreal Expos, not the Braves, were in first place when the season ended.

Of course, the season ended not in October, but in August, thanks to an ill-conceived strike and a misguided endgame strategy by the Lords of Baseball that resulted in the cancellation of the World Series. That season, the Expos, under manager Felipe Alou, were a juggernaut, with an outfield of Larry Walker, Moises Alou, Marquis Grissom, and a pitching staff led by Ken Hill and a young Pedro Martinez. in July, they overtook the Braves in a thrilling weekend series at Le Stade Olympique in front of over 125,000 fans, and never looked back.

This was when pennant races were relatively undiluted, with two divisions per league and no wild card, so the Braves would have been outside looking in come the postseason. In 1995, after the strike was settled in the wake of the whole '"replacement player" fiasco (see last week's Ron Mahay item), the new deal forced the Expos to dump most of their stars. The Braves were among the rich getting richer, snagging Marquis Grissom, while the other Haves picked the bones of the Expos' roster, and effectively killed baseball in Montreal (although its walking corpse paraded itself in front of a handful of die-hards for another decade).

So the next time some chump on ESPN talks about the Braves' so-called dynasty (one World Championship does not a dynasty make), and their "14 consecutive" divison titles, please join me in yelling at the TV, "It was only 11, fool."

FIGHTIN' PHILS FOIL LOS BRAVOS

The Braves went down looking last night on national television as the Philadelphia Phillies defeated Atlanta 5-3 behind soft-tossing 40-something Jamie Moyer. The key play was a botched double play wherein Braves' shortstop Yunel "Pablo" Escobar failed to step on the second base bag and threw late to first (well, actually in time, but it's nice to see the umps blow one in favor of the opposition once in a while). Ryan Howard followed with a towering three-run homer to the opposite field, chasing starter Buddy Carlyle.

The loss dropped Atlanta back into third place, where it is hoped they will remain until they are passed by the Marlins. It is probably too much to hope for them to be passed by the lowly Nationals.

The standings:

Mets: 65- 52, .556, -
Phillies: 62-55, .530, 3 GB
Braves: 62 -56, .525, 3 ½

CHIP CARAY: TALENT SKIPS A GENERATION...AGAIN

I'll try to keep this brief, but I just had to vent spleen over the worst announcer in professional sports, Chip Caray. They say talent skips a generation, but in this case it has skipped two generations. Caray's grandfather Harry was a broadcasting legend, first in St. Louis, then in Chicago, where he became an institution for leading the fans in "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the 7th-inning stretch at Wrigley Field, and for his drunken garbling of names like "Grudzielanek."

Perhaps knowing the nature of talent and its propensity for evaporating from one generation to the next, Harry named his son "Skip." Skip Caray, now relegated to radio, is, of course, the longtime voice of the Braves, a curmudgeonly homer who has never attempted even the pretense of impartiality. He named his son "Chip," as in "a chip off the old block," perhaps knowing that Chip would also suck mightily as a play-by-play man.

Nepotism being rife in Major League Baseball, the youngest Caray landed a choice gig as the voice of the Cubs in the wake of his grandfather Harry's death. He quickly became an irritant to Chicago fans by using such trademark calls as "Gloves, grabs, guns. Got 'em." Even his dad would've been satisfied with "Routine grounder to short, easy out."

But Chip's act soon wore out its welcome in the Windy City, and he made the jump to TBS as the Braves play-by-play announcer several years back. If anything, he is even lousier now than he was in his days as an undeserving, wet-behind-the-ears punk handed one of the best gigs in all of sports broadcasting at WGN. He has assimilated his father's rampant homer-ism, and added his own unctuous, obnoxious idiocies to the mix. The result: a perfect storm of stupidity, a textbook example of how far the art of calling a ballgame has fallen. Red Barber is rolling in his grave.

Finally, I cannot complete this rant without mentioning Chip's freakish eyebrows. So there, I mentioned 'em. Now I can go back to practicing my quick-draw on the mute button.

Brave Hater is a parody, so don't get yer panties in a bunch, Braves fans.

Happy Birthday, Pop

I'm back in my hometown of Massena, NY for my Dad's 80th birthday. All of my immediate family is here, as well as my niece, nephews, a couple of brother-in-laws, and other honored guests. I only wish my wife and children could be here with us, but she's out west with her family. She in turn wishes I could be there with her and the kids.

I just wanted to briefly pay tribute to H.J. Dobies, a man who has given his all for over 50 years as a small town family doctor, as a husband to my mother, as a father to me and my three sisters, and as the grandfather of six.

Here's to you, Pop. Thank you for all your help and encouragement over the years, and for just being who you are.

I love you, man.

The Savage Return of Florida Rocks Again!

Well, dear friends, it appears that Florida Rocks Again! is returning to terrestrial radio after all. I just got off the phone with Cruiser and Ron from WFBO, and it looks like the program director has been overruled, and the show will go on after all, beginning Wednesday August 15 at 6 p.m.

You can listen on Live 365 at theblizzard.us Wednesdays from 6 to 8 p.m. and Sundays from Noon to 2 Eastern Time.

Earlier today, I got a message from Todd Lucas, who does the awesome It's Great Shakes blog with Brian Marshall, hipping me to a possible national TV venue.

They say it's always darkest before the dawn, and it's been pretty dark of late, and that's fer sure, pardners. Let's hope this is an early clue to the new direction, a harbinger of better things to come.

The Night Owl Drive-In

When I first started as movie host of Surreal Cinema on Channel 22, I did not play it safe. The TV Boss told me that the name of the series made it possible to show a wide variety of movies, as long as they were weird, and more importantly, in the public domain. I wanted to expand the show beyond the usual horror and sci-fi offerings to include exploitation stuff, hot rod movies, biker flicks, etc.

However, as I sometimes have a tendency to do, I pushed the envelope too far, too fast. The straw that broke the camel's back was when I programmed a double bill of Roger Corman's Swamp Women and Volker Schlondorff's A Degree of Murder a/k/a Mord und Totschlag .
























Swamp Women is a heist-gone-wrong story with a twist: the criminals are all tough-talking dames. Besides the priceless dialogue and bayou scenery, there are also several catfights. The second half of the double bill, A Degree of Murder, is best known for its score, the only official solo recordings of the Rolling Stones' Brian Jones. The film stars his then-girlfriend Anita Pallenberg as Marie, a girl with a problem: she has shot and killed her lover, and now she must somehow get rid of his body. She enlists the help of two layabouts, Gunther and Fritz, to help with the corpse disposal. A meandering road trip ensues, during which she sleeps with both men. They ditch the body at a quarry, return home to Munich, and go their separate ways. End of movie.

On Monday, the TV Boss read me the riot act. He told me that our station was family-oriented television for good Christians, not "smut and catfights." Surreal Cinema was supposed to be limited to horror, science fiction, and fantasy, he said, directly contradicting what he'd told me when I started. Oh well. My bad.

He then promised me that I could do another film series that would run after 11 p.m., where I could play all of the non-Surreal movies I wanted, provided there was no smut, that is. Catfights were OK, I guess.

We had made a deal with Florida-based filmmaker William Grefé to air several of his films, and had already taped a couple of hours of interviews with him. Unfortunately, given the new ground rules, only three of his movies qualified for Surreal Cinema, while the others, like Impulse, starring William Shatner as a leisure-suit-wearin' ladykiller, and Racing Fever, a drama about powerboat racing, were clearly outside of the new parameters.

And so I created Night Owl Drive-In, and started making plans to open up the host segments by shooting them at the Playtime Drive-In near Jacksonville, and wrote parts for a couple of supporting characters, Snack Bar Girl and the Mad Projectionist. Not exactly King Lear, but it was mine, and if we could syndicate it, I'd have a piece of the action.

Perhaps that's why it never got off the ground. In any case, the TV Boss got involved in other projects, such as becoming executive producer of a cable access conspiracy theory show that he found online.

Anyhoo, there is already a show on Speedvision called the Lost Drive-In, with cool graphics and Bruce Dern as its host, but all their movies have to be somehow automotive in nature. Turner Classic Movies has TCM Underground, originally hosted by Rob Zombie, who was, by all accounts, a total prick to work with. Now it's airing without a host - cult movies and exploitation flicks are not exactly Robert Osborne's cup of tea - but there's a gig I would love to have. I could hit that sucker out of the park.

More likely, I'll end up in some other market, as a segment producer or reporter, and probably not as a movie host. But you never know. Night Owl Drive-In could be coming soon to a televison set near you.

The Florida Freeze-Out

Due to circumstances beyond my control, tonight's episode of FLORIDA ROCKS AGAIN! will not be heard on WFBO 93.3 FM "The Blizzard" or on Live 365.

Seems the new program director couldn't get the show loaded into the computer, so it ain't happening. It probably won't happen at all, he tells me, because he thinks the show doesn't fit the format. This after I've spent countless hours re-editing the shows for a two hour time slot. This morning, I put the finishing touches on the next two episodes, and they were all killer, no filler. Then I get a call from the PD telling me that the show is out, but I could be a part of the team doing unpaid air shifts and selling sponsorships.

Ever get the feeling that it was time to move on?

The signs have been coming at me hard and fast, beating me about the head and shoulders, and it's beginning to look like my Florida dream is over. They say things happen in threes, and it's looking like I just took strike three.

First, I lost my day job.

Then, I lost the TV gig.

Now, it looks like the radio thing is going South, too.

Unreal. The trifecta. The triple whammy.

I should have gotten the message back in '02 when I got rousted by a St. Johns County Sheriff's Deputy named George Gazdick. My crime: I let my dog, Jesse Garon, run on the beach without a leash. For about 30 seconds. When Deputy Gazdick started to write me up and asked my name, I gave him my radio name, thinking he might have heard my show. Then when I told him my real name, he arrested me for providing a false ID, and had me hauled off to the County lock-up. It was a Sunday, and if not for the efforts of my brother-in-law, a high-powered attorney, I'd have had to spend the night in the pokey.

I had the urge to get the hell out of Florida right then and there and never look back.

But I stayed, and a couple of years later, met my beautiful wife, got married, and had two beautiful children before you could say "Jack Robinson." My wife, in all in her infinite wisdom, has been lobbying for us to leave Florida for the past year. She was dubious about my day job, never trusted the TV boss, and thought the radio station was akin to a Chinese fire drill. But, to quote Whitey Herzog, that'd be an insult to Asian firefighters.

I told her not to worry, that we were going to make it here.

I hate it when I'm so wrong and she's so right. Man, she's so right, it hurts.

Next stop? Who knows.

If anybody out there is looking for a good movie host for their local TV station, drop me a line.

Florida Rocks Again!'s Greatest Hits, Volume One

FLORIDA ROCKS AGAIN!

Episode B-1:
"Florida Rocks Again!'s Greatest Hits, Volume One"


Airdates
(all times Eastern): WFBO 93.3 "The Blizzard"

Wednesday,
August 15 from 6 to 8 p.m.

Sunday,
September 2 from Noon to 2 p.m.

Listen on Live365 at
theblizzard.us

Playlist:

TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS:
The Waiting
LINDA LYNDELL: What a Man
SAM & DAVE: Soul Man
JAMES & BOBBY PURIFY: Shake A Tailfeather
RAY CHARLES: What'd I Say
DENNIS YOST & THE CLASSICS IV: Stormy
THE NIGHTCRAWLERS: The Little Black Egg
WE THE PEOPLE: You Burn Me Up and Down/Love Is a Beautiful Thing
MERCY: Love Can Make You Happy
THE ROYAL GUARDSMEN: Snoopy vs. the Red Baron/Army Promo
KING COLEMAN: Mashed Potatoes
CLARENCE REID: Nobody But You Babe
BETTY WRIGHT: Clean Up Woman
KC & THE SUNSHINE BAND: Get Down Tonight
LOBO: Me and You and a Dog Named Boo
JIM STAFFORD: Spiders and Snakes
BOBBY GOLDSBORO: Voodoo Woman
ELVIS PRESLEY: Ft. Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce
ANN-MARGARET: I Just Don't Understand
MEL TILLIS: Mental Revenge
THE MAVERICKS: Here Comes My Baby
THE ALLMAN JOYS: Spoonful/Shapes of Things
THE 31st OF FEBRUARY (with GREGG & DUANE ALLMAN):
Morning Dew/Melissa
THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND: Whipping Post
THE OUTLAWS: There Goes Another Love Song
MOLLY HATCHET: Flirtin' With Disaster
LYNYRD SKYNYRD: Free Bird
FRED NEIL: Everybody's Talkin'


Series hosted by Mal Thursday

Written and Produced by JM Dobies

Co-Produced by Jeff Lemlich

Podcast Archives at floridarocksagain.garagepunk.com

Website: floridarocksagain.com

Thanks to everybody at the Blizzard, Bill and Kopper at Garagepunk.com, David A. Karlin, Tonja Marie at Industrious Communications and my little friends Liam and Lola.

In Loving Memory of Lee Hazelwood

LEE HAZELWOOD 1929-2007


Lee Hazelwood has passed away in Las Vegas at the age of 78. He is survived by his third wife, Jeane, his son Mark and daughters Debbie and Samantha. He had expressed his wish to be cremated, and to have his ashes strewn on a Swedish island where he composed some of his favorite songs. He had also chosen his epitaph: "Didn't he ramble," referring to his loner-drifter nature.

"Sand"

"Jackson"

"Some Velvet Morning"

Lee's duets with Nancy Sinatra were a staple on my old radio shows on WMUA and WRSI in the late '80s and early '90s. Safe at Home, the LP he produced for Gram Parsons and the International Submarine Band in 1967, is a staple of my current show, Florida Rocks Again!

Lee was an uncanny producer and genius songwriter working for Reprise Records when he scored a hit for Nancy Sinatra with "Boots." 1967's Lee & Nancy album followed, with its mind-bending imagery, psychedelic production, and deft blending of Nancy's kittenish vocalizations with Hazelwood's nicotene baritone.

The man was a genius.

He could also be a prick. He sued to prevent Gram Parsons's lead vocals from being heard on the Byrds' Sweetheart of the Rodeo album, showing that he was not a man to be messed with. To Gram, a contract was just a piece of paper, but to Lee, it was a binding legal document.

Lee won, and we all lost.

Having run an independent record label for many years, I can dig where Lee was coming from. But I'm also someone who has been on the other side of a bad contract, then has had to deal with the consequences.

So I can understand Gram's position.

Rest in Peace, Lee. Gram'll be there to meet ya...

Brave Hater 8.06.07

Excerpts from this week's issue of BRAVE HATER Magazine:

DAMN YOU, SCHUERHOLZ

It's a been a tough week for Brave Haters everywhere, as John Schuerholz pulled off a deal with the Texas Rangers for slugging first baseman Mark "Tex" Texeira, who instantly upgraded the Atlanta offense to one of the National League's best.

The guy hit three home runs the first week, for the love of Mike...

The acquisition of Octavio Dotel from the lowly Kansas City Royals for the underwhelming Kyle Davies in a deal with former Schuerholz underling Dayton Moore, is another matter entirely. Although on the surface a good trade for the Braves, fans familiar with Dotel's career, particularly Mets fans, will look forward to Octavio choking and blowing leads late in games. I, for one, hope to enjoy Dotel's sure-to-be-brief stay in Atlanta.

BRAVES BOUNCE BACK, DAMMIT

Much to to the dismay of Brave Hater Nation, Atlanta's offense exploded for thirty runs against the Astros in Texeira's first three games, although the third game was a gruelling extra-inning 12-11 loss in which Edgar Renteria went down with a sprained ankle, Willie Harris got badly beat up trying to play third base, Andruw strained one of his hittin' muscles, and inevitably, Chipper hurt his hand. The following night, The Rockies lit up John Smoltz and rocked the Braves 9-2.

Unfortunately, Atlanta bounced back to win Saturday and Sunday, so as of Monday, here are the standings in the NL East:

Mets 63-48 - .568 - ---

Braves 59-53 - .527 - 4 ½

Phillies 58-53 - .523 - 5

REASONS WE HATE CHIPPER JONES #388

Thursday's extra-inning loss to the Astros was satisfying on so many levels, and as an added bonus, gave us a brand new reason to hate Chipper Jones. After Edgar Renteria hobbled off the field with an injured ankle, Braves manager Bobby Cox was forced to move Chipper from third base to shortstop, a position Jones had not played since 2000.

Chipper made a big show of it for the home fans, yukking it up with his teammates. It's bad enough that the guy's hitting .330, but he's out there wearing a shit-eating grin that says "Aw shucks, ain't I cute?" and "Hey, lookit me! Lookit me! I'm playing shortstop a'gin! Haw Haw!"

Chipper's nauseating humble act is the 388th reason to hate him.

RON MAHAY: ONCE A SCAB

Braves veterans have turned a cold shoulder to their new teammate, lefthanded reliever Ron Mahay, a former replacement player.

When asked about whether or not Mahay was being shunned by his teammates, Braves ace John Smoltz responded, "Ron who?"

Another prominent Braves player, who shall remain nameless (OK it was Chipper Jones), said, "Once a scab, always a scab. He's a damn scab. He crossed the line. He's dead to me."

Manager Bobby Cox was philosophical about his new bullpen help. "Sure, he's a scab. But there are nights when you're getting clobbered or you go 17 innings, and you need a guy to go out there to take a beating for the ballclub. He helps get you through the dog days, then you cut him loose before the playoffs because he's a scab son of a bitch and you just can't trust a scab."

Subscribe to Brave Hater by subscribing to this blog.

Brave Hater Magazine is a parody, and should not be taken as gospel truth.

Surreal Cinema: The Michael West Era

Now that I've ended my run as "Michael West," friendly movie host on good 'ol Channel 22, here is a list of movies we presented during my tenure on Surreal Cinema, home of the "wildest and weirdest movies that time forgot to remember to forget."


SURREAL
CINEMA
with
Michael West

2006-2007:

Abbott & Costello Go to Mars
Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein
Abbott & Costello Meet the Invisible Man*
Abbott & Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff*
Alphaville*
The Amazing Transparent Man
The Angry Breed
Attack of the Giant Leeches
Atom Age Vampire
Beast from Haunted Cave
Before I Hang
Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla
Billy the Kid vs. Dracula
The Black Cat
Black Friday
The Black Room
The Body Snatcher
The Boogie Man Will Get You
Bowery at Midnight
A Boy and His Dog*
Bride of Frankenstein
Chandu on Magic Island
Countess Dracula*
Creature from the Haunted Sea
Day of the Triffids*
Death Curse of Tartu
A Degree of Murder
Dementia 13
The Devil Bat
Dog Eat Dog
Dracula
Dracula's Daughter
Eegah
The Fat Spy
Frankenstein
Frankenstein vs. the Wolf Man
Ghost of Frankenstein
The Giant Gila Monster
The Giant Spider Invasion*
Godzilla
Hold That Ghost!
Horror Hotel
Horror of Party Beach
House of Dracula
House of Frankenstein
The Human Monster
I Bury the Living
The Indestructible Man
The Invisible Agent
The Invisible Man
The Invisible Man Returns
The Invisible Man's Revenge
The Invisible Woman
Jaws of Death
Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter
Killer from Space
The Killer Shrews
Kingdom of the Spiders
The Last Man on Earth
The Last Woman on Earth
The Legend of Boggy Creek
The Man They Could Not Hang
The Monitors
Mothra*
The Mummy
The Mummy's Curse
The Mummy's Ghost
The Mummy's Hand
Murders in the Rue Morgue
Night of the Blood Beast
Night of the Living Dead
Night Tide*
Nightmare Castle
Phantom from Space
Phantom Planet
The Raven
The Return of Chandu
Santa Claus vs. the Martians
Scared to Death
The Screaming Skull
Shark*
She-Wolf of London
Son of Dracula
Son of Frankenstein
Spider Baby
Sting of Death
Swamp Women
The Terror*
Terror of the Mad Doctor*
White Zombie
The Wild Ride

Series Hosted by Michael West

Written & Produced by JM Dobies

Co-produced & Directed by Derrek Dembeck
Executive Producer: Frederick St. John

*************************

Special thanks to all the viewers, our sponsors, William Grefe, Tonja Marie, Liam, and Lola.

Ken Russell on Bergman and Antonioni

Here is Ken Russell's remembrance of Ingmar Bergman and Michaelangelo Antonioni from The London Times:

Death of Two Masters

by Ken Russell

Within 24 hours, two art-house heroes, Ingmar Bergman and Michelangelo Antonioni, have died – leaving their fans in a deep state of shock.

What if Federico Fellini, Claude Chabrol, François Truffaut, Alain Resnais, Louis Malle, Agnès Varda and Jacques Demy had passed away at the same time? The art-house fraternity would all pass away in collective grief.

But just how many of us fans are there? Well, there’s me, for one – but I’m 80. I teach movies at three universities and the kids have never heard of the art-house classics. They’ll watch one if it’s compulsory but given the choice, most of them are into torture-porn horror movies.

I saw my first Bergman film, Sawdust and Tinsel, in 1953 and I never forgot this outlandish masterpiece. By the time I saw The Seventh Seal, in which a medieval knight (Max von Sydow) plays chess with Death, it was 1955 and I’d become a stills photographer. Fifteen years later, I called it to mind when directing The Devils.

Bergman’s later psychological studies evoke a mood when the heartbeat pauses – the blisteringly lonely Hour of the Wolf; Cries and Whispers with its red-saturated walls. Bergman reminds me of a warm Swedish sauna when the door suddenly blows open and the chill breath of death whistles in.

Antonioni, the other immortal, was best known for his somewhat laboured essays, shot mostly in black and white, featuring the Italian idle rich wandering around Rome (L'Eclisse) or drifting on their yacht (L'Avventura).

However, Antonioni did make one smash-hit sensation about a fashion photographer having fun in swinging London in 1966, Blow Up. Forgive me, but I wonder if he had seen a film about a trendy paparazzo that I had made for television called Watch the Birdie.

But undoubtedly, The Passenger has hypnotic charm and that final panic-rising long shot in dusty no man’s land.

If the public didn’t benefit from the passion and ruthless experimentation of Bergman, Antonioni and the rest, we jobbing film directors certainly did. We cherish their memory.