Now's your chance to sound off on which television advertising campaign is the most annoying by voting for your most despised commercials. I'll get the ball rolling by listing several that have pained me to no end, and continue to do so:
- The Sonic Drive-In A-Holes: Whether it's the infuriating bespectacled bald guy whose head resembles a short, ugly penis, or the jag-off who talks with his mouth full (see above), this series of improvised spots touting various unhealthy fast food treats is poison for the eyes and torment for the ears.
- The Verizon Dweeb: Now reduced to being a silent clown, one can at least be grateful that he no longer spouts the Tourette's-like mantra, "Can you hear me now?" No, we can't, but you still suck.
- The Free Credit Report Dickweed: You know the guy: "I'm thinking of a number..." Yeah, so am I, it's on his tombstone, and it ends in '07. If you have derogatory credit, or even if you don't, you've got to want to slap the shit out of this guy. I know I do.
- Dane Cook for MLB: Aren't this overpaid, obnoxious joke thief's 15 minutes up yet? Having to endure his loathsome douche-baggery during the last three months of the regular season was bad enough, but now TBS continues to run his promos for their post-season coverage during the post-season, when we're already watching. Enough already. And that goes double for his movie career. (See also "Who's Worse: Chipper or Dane Cook?," Brave Hater 9.17.07)
So there you have it, just a few of the commercials that have assaulted my critical faculties. Dishonorable mention for the creepy rotoscope animation in the Charles Schwab ads, made so much worse by the smug yuppies portrayed in them, and for the George Clooney-voiced Budweiser spots where he tries in vain to convince us that Budwesier is the best beer we've ever tasted. Come on, George, you're better than that. And it's not like you drink the stuff.
So cast your vote and vent your spleen for the TV ad campaign you find most annoying in the comments section.
7 comments:
My friend Jeff Miami tried to leave a comment, but Blogger shut him down, so he emailed it:
"The new Snickers ads are a piece of shit. How about the Milky Way ad with the woman having orgasms over A-7 on the candy machine? Please Mr. Please, don't play B-17. Most of the recent Burger King ads have reeked, too. Meat and cheese. MEAT... AND... CHEESE! Duh!"
Frank TV comes in second behind Dane Cook's MLB promos. (I actually like the Sonic spots.) The fact that TBS couldn't sell enough air time to fill their breaks speaks volumes about baseball's waning popularity. The Pads/Rox play-in game had a third of the Pats/Bengals MNF audience.
I think Frank is an incredible mimic, and some of his bits are quite funny (i.e. Al Pacino doing "Who's on First"). And you think the Sonic spots are good -- is this some kind of inter-generational disconennect? Or is it that the cadeverous guy is from Second City, and you're paying your due respect?
Anyway, I posted this challenge on a couple of my fave message boards, and not surprisingly, the GaragePunk.com forum came up roses:
"Old Navy can lick my Old Nuts"
- Scaliwag66
"Well, last night in the eighth inning of the Cubs game, with the Cubs down 5-1, a Chevy commercial comes on with Ron Santo plugging how "the Cubs and Chevy...it's a winning combination". They obviously bought the air time before the Diamondbacks began to sweep their asses. I mean seriously, the timing was excellent. You couldn't have made a worse context for a commercial. It made Chevy look like liars, and losers! Hahaha! They aired it on the last game of a sweep series down 5-1. It was just terrible. PS, I almost fucking lost my mind last night and wanted to punch through every wall in my fucking house after that game. I don't even like sports, but I love the Cubs because they always suck, so it's fun when they win."
-- Mr. Saint Matthew
I, and especially my long-suffering-Cubs-die-hard-brother-in-law, feel your pain, MSM...
October 7, 2007 5:52 PM
I haven't seen many TV commercials since we cancelled our DISH NETWORK subscription 4 years ago. Our rabbit ears can only get in PBS. I'm not a snob, just too poor to afford a good antenna.
BTW, a woman claiming to be the wife of THE ROEMANS' bass player has contacted me. Would you like me to put you in touch with her for your FLORIDA ROCKS show?
I'll cop to liking the Sonic commercials too, at least some of them.
I won the meat jackpot! Come on...how is that not funny?
More commentary from the GaragePunk Forum:
"Every ad with mellencamp singin' our country."
- Baron Von Drake
"Those Yaz birth control commercials with the female band singing "We;re not gonna take it" by Twisted Sister..."
- Jailbird
"Those are the worst! The one where the girl is explaining all the details to her friends at some party...she is reciting the disclaimer the whole time to them, and they all stare and look all interested...and then they play it off by having her say at the very end, "yeah, I didnt go to medical school for nothing!" AAAHHH!!! Wow. Lazy lazy lazy writing.
But the thing in that commercial that's worse than the terrible writing is the miserable failure at subversive advertising tactics. Trying to place the information into a "comfortable girls night out together" scenario having "one of their own...one of their friends" explain it to them. The whole time inserting cold medical disclaimers and paid advertising selling points from that "I'm your friend, just one of the girls" stance. If there is such a thing as mind-rape, this is it. It's just such fake bullshit and so insulting/embarassing to watch at the same time. Oh my god, you hit the jackpot jailbird. That IS THEE worst fucking commercial."
- Mr. Saint Matthew
I was remiss in not mentioning the profoundly unfunny Ellen Degeneres AmEx spots, which even managed to taint the otherwise unassailable Marty Scorcese, and I also misspelled "cadaverous" and "disconnect."
I saw one of the Sonic spots that I had never seen before and the cadaverous-looking guy got a laugh out of me, dammit. He was basically telling the talking-with-his-mouth-full guy to shut the fuck up. Tonja looked at me with disapproval when I chuckled...But I'll admit they made me laugh, the bastards. Once, anyway.
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