My New Gig: Celebrity Headlines Examiner

Longtime readers of the BLOG! know that my interest in popular culture leans toward the '60s and '70s rather than the vacuous anti-culture of today. For instance, on June 25th, I did not waste a minute mourning self-proclaimed King of Pop, junkie, and plastic surgery disaster Michael Jackson, instead paying tribute to Seeds frontman and Flower Power icon Sky Saxon.

I could give a shit about Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears - I'm more into Tuesday Weld and Mimsy Farmer.

That said, I just got a gig writing celebrity news for the Dallas Examiner. I get paid by the page view, and given America's obsession with celebrities, I should get some decent traffic and make some coin.

I used to do a humor/parody column called "Celebrity Spin," where I'd take actual gossip items and inject them with comedy collagen through gross exaggeration and absurd, made-up quotes. I can't make stuff up for this column, but I'll try to make my headlines "grabbers," inject a little snarky irony, and keep the items entertaining.

So far, I've posted three items this week:

Oversharing Ashton unapologetic about exposing overexposed Demi

NFL star Plaxico Burress indicted for shooting himself

Nic Cage, Screech in tax trouble

I was once a promising writer/editor for serious news outlets, but now I write about Demi Moore's ass (and also her butt)...

So, even if you don't care about celebrities, please subscribe to my RSS feed, because I need the money...