Monday, February 9, 2009

Apparently, I Don't Exist

Amid the economic shitstorm, and having mouths to feed (and miles to go before I sleep), I figured I better file my taxes pronto, so as to cash the refund check ASAP.

And so, armed with TurboTax, we filed our 2008 taxes last night. Unfortunately, today we heard back from the IRS that I don't exist.

What had happened was...I was born slightly after midnight on the night of September 16, 196_, in other words, on the 17th. When I was a kid, that's when my birthday was celebrated. But, as I approached adulthood, most documents, including my birth certificate, listed my birthday as the 16th. Still, it was well known that my actual birthday is and was the 17th. "Trust me," my mother says, "I was there."

But, since my birth certificate, driver's license, and most official documents listed my birthday as the 16th, that was the date I went with when asked. Still, I used the discrepancy as an excuse for an annual two-day birthday bacchanal.

It was never an issue until today, when my tax return got kicked back. Apparently, the IRS and Social Security adminisitration's computers only recently began communicating with one another's.

Now, I'm in a no-man's-land of not existing. I'm not official. I'm "between birthdays."

And my fat refund (with the accompanying "stimulus") will have to wait.

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